i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
