he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
