um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
