It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
