your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
