SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize