I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
