I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
