Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
