I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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