in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Randomize
