Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize
