i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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