I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
