what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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