Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
