what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
