he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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