I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
