i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize