That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
