so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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