today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
