No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
