It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
