I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
