my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You ate ashes out of my bong
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
