i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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