cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize