don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
