Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Randomize
