There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
