Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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