About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
