woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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