fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I enjoy the company of your penis
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
