Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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