I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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