i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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