Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
