Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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