I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
