I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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