um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
