Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
