dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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