whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
