Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he fucked my hip out of place.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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