This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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