If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
