sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
