her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
