talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
