We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
