I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
