guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
