O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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