her vagine was all disorganized.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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