me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
