Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
