am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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