I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize