That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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