What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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