he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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