i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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